My Mom Has Dementia: Now What? Understanding Behavioral Changes and Finding Support

For many families, finding out a parent has been diagnosed with dementia is only the beginning. Over time, you may begin noticing behavioral changes that are difficult to understand and manage, such as agitation, aggression, wandering, confusion, paranoia, resistance to care, or emotional outbursts.

If you are caring for a parent or loved one experiencing behavioral disturbances caused by dementia, you are not alone or failing as a caregiver. At Southgate Special Care, we provide specialized behavior management in a peaceful environment that helps ease stress, alleviate symptoms, and promote relaxation.

How Dementia Affects Behavior

Dementia is a progressive condition that affects how the brain processes information, emotions, judgment, and communication. For families, these changes can be heartbreaking and challenging to navigate, making caregiving both emotionally and physically exhausting.

Common behavioral disturbances associated with dementia may include:

• Agitation or aggression
• Anxiety or fearfulness
• Wandering or exit-seeking
• Sundowning (increased confusion later in the day)
• Hallucinations or paranoia
• Repetitive questions or behaviors
• Sleep disturbances
• Resistance to bathing, dressing, or taking medications
• Emotional outbursts or mood swings

Why Behavioral Symptoms Happen

Behavioral disturbances often stem from unmet needs or overwhelming feelings that a person with dementia can no longer communicate effectively. Understanding this can help you more effectively manage these behaviors when they occur and even limit their severity and frequency.

Your loved one may be reacting to:

• Fear or confusion
• Physical discomfort or pain
• Overstimulation or noise
• Changes in routine
• Fatigue
• Hunger or dehydration
• Feeling rushed or misunderstood
• Difficulty recognizing people or surroundings

De-Escalation Tips for Caregivers

While every person living with dementia is unique, there are several approaches that may help you reduce their stress and prevent situations from escalating.

Avoid Arguing

Instead of correcting your loved one when they are frustrated and confused, try acknowledging their worry and making a suggestion.

• Don’t say: “Mom, that’s not true. You already ate lunch.”
• Say instead: “You seem worried you haven’t eaten. Let’s have a snack together.”

Simplify Communication

For someone with dementia, making decisions can feel overwhelming and cause distress. Keep questions simple and avoid giving too many options.

• Don’t say: “What would you like to wear today?”
• Say instead: “Would you like the blue shirt or the gray one[MG5] ?”

Watch for Triggers

Behavior often follows a pattern. Keeping track of what typically occurs before an outburst can help you identify common triggers.

Possible triggers to consider include:

• Loud noises
• The arrival of evening
• Lack of sleep
• Hunger
• A disruption to routine

Stay Calm and Reassuring

Someone with dementia will often mirror others’ emotions and tone. During an outburst, remain calm and try to validate their emotions.

• Use short, clear sentences in a soft voice.
• Maintain a calm, open posture and gentle facial expressions.
• Use gentle touch if appropriate, such as holding their hand or placing a hand on their shoulder to offer comfort.

Give Space During Escalation

If emotions rise, avoid crowding or correcting your loved one. Taking a brief pause or offering a gentle distraction may help the situation settle.

• If they are safe, take a deep breath and step away for a moment to manage your own frustration.
• Try redirecting their attention by offering a simple task, providing a snack, or putting on soft music.
• Reduce stimulation by turning down a loud television or limiting the number of people in the room.

When Care Needs Become More Than You Can Manage Alone

There may come a point when your loved one’s behavior becomes unsafe, unpredictable, or too difficult for you and your family to handle without professional support. Remember that seeking help is not giving up: sometimes the best and safest thing for your loved one is specialized clinical expertise and a structured, supportive environment.

Signs it may be time to seek specialized behavioral management include:

• Physical aggression
• Frequent wandering
• Safety concerns at home
• Severe sleep disruption
• Caregiver burnout
• Repeated hospital visits or crises
• Increased paranoia, hallucinations, or distress

How Southgate Special Care Can Help

At Southgate Special Care, we provide a healing, therapeutic environment, a collaborative approach, and expert care for[MG6] older adults with behavioral disturbances associated with Alzheimer’s disease or other types of dementia. All team members receive specialized training in providing considerate, gentle care to residents and are certified in de-escalation techniques to resolve conflict and promote calmness.

Our specialized approach can help:

• Reduce agitation and anxiety
• Create consistent daily structure
• Provide therapeutic activities
• Support emotional and spiritual well-being
• Improve quality of life for both residents and families
• Help families better understand the progression of dementia

Compassionate dementia care focuses on preserving dignity, providing comfort, and promoting calm. With the right care, behavioral symptoms can often be managed more effectively, helping your loved one feel safer and giving you valuable peace of mind. Southgate is among a select group of communities in New Jersey licensed to provide this specialized care and the only one in Bergen County.

Some of Southgate’s healing features include[MG7]:

• 24-hour nursing care
• An on-site psychiatrist to support behavioral health
• Therapeutic activities to soothe and engage residents
• Social work services
• Family support with follow-up training, discharge planning, and caregiver education

• A tranquil Circadian-rhythm lighting system
• A multisensory Snoezelen lounge with therapeutic lighting, aromatherapy, and sound
• A cozy, homelike dining room
• An enclosed patio to enjoy the soothing sights of nature
• A comforting pet therapy area

Learn More About Southgate Special Care

To learn more about how we can support you and your loved one, please call (201) 848-5855, visit Southgate Special Care, or take a virtual tour.